Famous Bobs

Bob Stoops	Oklahoma football coach
Bob Barker	game show host
Bob Dylan	singer
Bob Dole	Kansas senator
Bob Newhart	unfunny comedian
Bob Marley	singer from somewhere
Bob Vila	builds things
Bob Denver	Gilligan
Bob Costas	sportscaster
Bob Eubanks	dead, right?
Bob Goldwaith	funny comedian
Bob Hope	dead comedian
Bob Saget	unfunny comedian
Bob Crane	Col. Hogan
Bob Seger	singer
Bob Graham	Florida senator
The Bob and Tom Show	funny radio show
Hurricane Bob	blowhard from '91
Billy Bob Thornton	actor
Bob the Builder	builds what?
Sponge Bob	square ass
Sideshow Bob	clown from Simpsons
Bob Keeshan	Capt. Kangaroo
Enzyte Bob	boner pill guy
Baghdad Bob	Iraqi minister of disinformation
Shish Ka Bob	meat on a stick
Yesserie Bob	no way Jose
What about Bob, the movie	Well, what about him?
beercanbob.com	someone check this out and get back to me

Rants (no raves)

Illegal Immigration	Put up a series of dams along the Rio Grande.  Fill up the river and make it hard to cross.  Arm the border guards with rubber bullets.  Then let them shoot the illegals they catch crossing the river.  Shoot them in the ass until they are back on their own side.  No need to arrest them, and waste tax payer money and legal system time. Where would we get the money for it?  Stop sending money to Mexico.
Politicians	Why  do we keep voting for the same old politicians to go to DC?  We know most of what they say is a lie or promise the wont be able to keep.  We know they are mostly self interested career opportunists who would sell their mother in a white slave market if it meant getting them into office.  They rank one step higher than those ambulance chasing attorneys.  The problem isnt the politicians, its the voters.  What we need is smarter voters.  Lets start IQ testing voters.  Before you can vote your IQ has to be at least, say, 120 before you can vote.  Your IQ is lower than that?  You're the reason the Gepharts and Kennedys get into office.
The Legal System	Money equals 'not guilty'.  The richer you are the more you can get away with.  O.J. did it.  Michael Jackson will, too.  You?  On trial for murder/molesting/rape or any other fun crime?  You're fucked, buddy boy. Learn how to pick up soap without bending over is my advice, cause you cant afford the high priced laywers like they can in the land of the rich and influential.  You're nobody.  And the courts will treat you that way.  Say hi to Martha for me.  She didnt murder, molest or rape anyone.  Her crime was white collar, so she got a little slap on the wrist.  Club Fed for her, where she will get her own little cell and spend her days teaching check bouncers and pot users how to make golden doilies out of stuff she can find in the prison, er...club, kitchen.   Now I have nothing against the rich.  Heck, I'd be one if I could afford it.  But I think if you steal a million dollars over the internet or through some stock market scheme, you should get the same amount of prison time as a guy who steals a million holding up a bank.  Stealin is stealin.  Murderin is murderin.  And Jackson will not spend a day in jail.  Well, not a real one anyway.  He might get Martha's old cell.
Global Warming	This whole global warming thing is a farce.  Too many people are making money off of it, scaring people into believing in it, or using it to get a few votes.  What you dont hear much is that it's happend many times in the past.  In fact global warming has led to every ice age we've ever had.  It aint caused by man, industry or cow farts.  It's caused by earthly forces we dont fully understand.  Volcanoes do more to alter the global temperature than cars do.  They spew out many times more sulphur dioxide and carbon dioxide in one eruption than all of the planets industry and cars do in one day.  Something like that, anyway.  Been proven. And just why is global warming only a bad thing.  Personally, it makes me happy.  It means more warm days for motorcycle riding, more chicks in bikinis (always a good thing) and the old folks dont have to crowd Florida and Arizona in the winter time.  That means the southern states will have fewer accidents on the road.  And fewer accidents mean lower rates.  So you see?  Global warming leads to more bikinis and lower insurance rates. It will also lead to: more oxygen cause there will be more plants year round fewer liberals cause California will be underwater when the ice caps melt.  fewer starving people in the world cause there will be more food teams like the Packers and Bills wont have that cold weather advantage in the playoffs you'll be able to apply for some sort of  disaster relief fund when your sea side home goes underwater. even more bikinis.  I think thats the one I'm really hoping for.  Gloabal warming bad?  Pish posh.  I cant wait for it.
The NHL	Fuck'em.  Nobody watches
Animal Rights	When did this start?  Animals with rights?  They have to right to be fried and dipped in some sort of artery clogging sauce, that's their right.  My dog don't have rights.  And if he dont quit barking at 2am he'll get a right.  My foot right in his ribs.  Bounce that little yappin bastard off a couple of walls.  That'll shut him up.  For about 10 minutes.  Little dogs have little memories.  Anyway, do you really think groups like PETA really care about animals?  They only care when a building is going up.  When it gives them a chance to interfere with capitalism, thats when they care.  Except for then, they only care about cute animals, like dolphins (they smile) and pandas (they're furry).  They bitch about 3 dolphins getting caught in a tuna net, but say nothing about the millions of tuna fish getting caught in the tuna net.  You know why?  Tuna fish aint cute. They bitch about KFC killing chickens in some cruel way.  But say nothing about the actual death of said chicken.  I thought the right to live would be one of the biggest of animal rights.  Nope, we dont mind the killin (chickens are ugly) just dont make it gruesome.  Hell, thats the fun part.  See how the blood makes a funky pattern on the wall when I cut the chicken's head off with a dull butter knife?   Looks like an E, and there's an A.  On the ceiling is a T.  There's an M on the side of the ice box.  Oh there's an E over there.  Kinda spells out something dont it? Now back to PETA.  You walk into any PETA home and I'll bet you'll find a flyswatter, or a mouse trap ( I like the sticky kind that dont kill them right away.  Gives them time to think about shitting in the cabinets, and other crimes against me), or roach spray. Now why would an animal rights advocate have these items in a home?  Thats right, flies and mice and roaches aint cute.  I'd give anything to see a panda rip the arm off of one of those activists, or Flipper grab an activist swimming in the ocean by the foot and drag him down.  Drown him good. Kill, Flipper Kill! Maybe his body will get picked up by a tuna net.  Tuna nets are good cause tuna fish are ugly. And just for you people out there that think we shouldnt eat any meat:  we should teach cows and chickens and pigs how to beg for their lives.  If they beg enough we'll let them go.  The ones that dont- well, you remember that dippin sauce I mentioned earlier?
Abortion	Well, personally I wouldnt have one.  They seem painful. What if the hangar gets snagged on something up in there? If you want one go right ahead.  But it seems to me that if you're willing to have one, then you probably aint mentally ready to have a kid anyway.  It's your right to have an abortion, but it's also your right to keep your legs together, too.  I dont hear women yappin about that right.
Lawsuits	The lawsuit industry has gotten completely out of hand.  Some mental defect injures himself and everyone else has to pay.  If I run a red light and plow into someone I can sue the following: The maker of the car I'm driving for selling it to me. The maker of the car I'm driving  cause it dont have gizmos that prevent me from running red lights. The guy in the other car for not seeing me coming. The city because they didnt put up enough warnings about the dangers of running red lights. The city for not placing physical barriers to prevent people from running red lights. The dealership that sold it to me for not ensuring I was trained enough to operate the vehicle. My parents for having a kid that runs red lights.  What did they raise?  A maniac? In fact, thats on my agenda for the day.  Being broke sucks. I need money.  I can make a shitload when you factor in damages, punitive awards and mental anguish.  It's re-dam-diculous. What we need is a new law saying if you took part in the incident, and you could have taken steps to prevent said incident from happening, then you cant sue anyone.
Crazy People	The world needs more of them.  They're entertaining.
The Enviroment	I Gotchur New Policy Right Here, Buddy Boy First thing we do is stop using paper or plastic in the stores. Have everyone bring a canvas bag and put your stuff in those.  They are reusable and will save a shit load of space in landfills. Make all small and mid sized cars hybrids by 2008 Build nuke plants.  Especially in the southwest.  Lake Mead is going dry. Take all that open space we're not using out in the desert and build solar arrays.  Its free energy and will create a bunch of jobs. Have all new homes built with solar panels on the roof Stop urban sprawl.  Build new buildings in run down parts of the city instead of spreading out to the country. Drill Alaskan oil and end our dependence on back stabbing foriegn nations.  Take part of what we make and invest it in hydrogen research.  The carribu will learn to cope. Provide tax incentives for recycling, the purchase of solar panels, and hybrids. Provide a large dollar incentive for the invention of perpetual motion.  Like maybe $10 million. You kill a tree, you plant one. Get rid of alkaline batteries.  Use rechargables.
Religion	I'm just asking for trouble here, considering the family I married into (catholics).  Religion started out as a way to get control of a lot of people, most of them uneducated, by telling them how 'God' wants them to behave.  I'm sure there is a God of some sort out there, but do you really think he's going to send you to hell because you didnt eat the communion wafer?  Or what I refer to as the Holy Cookie?  People are always saying God will provide.  Then why do I have to give 10% to the church?  Let God give the church HIS 10% and all of our problems will be solved.  I also think a lot of the stories were made up by drug users and mental cases.  Do you really think Jonas spent 3 days in the belly of a whale?  Do you really think someone talked to a burning bush?  Well, maybe they did.  It just didnt talk back. The people who wrote the bible were the kinds of people who saw a comet in the sky and thought an angry god was coming, so throw a virgin off a cliff or something.  Real logical people back then.  And about this Imaculate Conception.  If a woman today winds up pregnant and she dont remember how, then it's one of three possibilities.  Drugs, drinking or alien abduction.  Women back then were'nt allowed to drink or do drugs anything alse fun so what does that leave?  The worlds religions were influenced by aliens. Does the phrase 'chariots of fire' ring a bell?  There is more proof of aliens than god, but you wont get ridiculed saying you believe in god.  The guy that believes in aliens?  Mocked, laughed at or forced onto some sort of drug.

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Some pics

	99 Honda 750 Nighthawk. Zoom Zoom
	Dad, Allen, Carol and Nelba
	Me and Carol. I'm the pretty one.
	Me, Yvonda and Allen

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Some Where's George Stuff

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Bob O Links

Radio show about computer help	www.komando.com
Report or read about Bigfoot sightings	www.bfro.org
Track a bill	www.wheresgeorge.com
Fun with GPS	www.geocaching.com
a guy with a real coke problem.  also carol's brother in law.	www.whoisdarkdan.com
watch stick figures die.  kinda dopey	www.sfdt.com
hear the man song	www.gotlaughs.com/humor/mansong2.shtml
look up actors, movies and tv shows	www.imdb.com
adult oriented humor site	www.consumptionjunction.com
another humor site	www.somethingawful.com
late night radio show about weird stuff	www.coasttocoastam.com
watch your money get pissed away	www.cagw.org
all about conspiracies	www.conspiracyplanet.com
libertarian radio show	www.boortz.com
down load sound effects	www.findsounds.com
report a ufo	www.mufon.org
???????????	www.uselesscreations.com

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Bob's Favorites

Music	Huey Lewis, Bryan Adams, Tom Petty, Belinda Carlisle, AC/DC, Fabulous Thunderbirds
Movies	Midway, Star Trek 2&6, Independence Day, Liar Liar, Nightmare on Elm Street
TV	MXC, the new Battlestar Galactica, Monday Night Football, X Files,  Orange County Chopper
Magazines	Maxim, Stuff, Popular Mechanics, Popular Science
Eats	TJ's Hawg House in Norman, Chili's, Vista Sports Bar in Norman, Subway
Football teams	Sooners, Chiefs, Redskins
Saying	Just grab a piece of fat and slide off.  I dont know what it means but it sounds funny.

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